my everything
it was a normal thursday night, mother was came home from her new job, dad was at poker, nicole was painting her nails and listening to twenty one pilots, denying that she was singing along, and evan was in his room watching shark tank, pretending to do homework. however, this was not my night, but the one of the cohen family.
about four months ago, the cohen family moved into the house right across the street. when nicole first came to school, she immediately became an interest to me. her flowing, silky, golden hair so gracefully grazed her shoulders with each miniscule movement she made, her evergreen eyes serenely circled the room, her perfect stature, sitting but never caught slouching. she had to be the sweetest person on earth, she’d give you the shirt right off her back if you asked. her whole aura was just enchanting, enticing, full of charisma, and absolutely faultless. the way she peered down at her paper ever so thoughtfully, like the way a child would study a trinket. everything about her was perfect. nicole did not know it yet, but she was mine.
mine.
see, the cohens moved into their new house when the house wasn't new. around here, a lot of the houses are older, and i planned to use this to my advantage. to do or accomplish what you say? to watch them. every day between eight in the morning, and three in the afternoon, the cohen house is abandoned. through observation and investigation, i have learned that. and with leftover summer job money, i purchased cameras. cameras to watch them. the wood is old, easy to chip away, making inserting the cameras easier than it should be. the cameras were of such a miniscule size that they could be placed in a room in the corner, and never even recognized. it was difficult to modify them in a way that i could access both audio and video, but i did. there’s really no other way to put it other than i am a technological genius, among other things as well.
the setup was quite easy to be honest, i fooled my own mother into thinking i had a fever so i could skip school. oh, how easily outsmarted she was, but i really just sucked on a penny, and when she left for work, i made my way to the house. nicole’s’ house. it was so simple to trick my mom, ever since father left us, her mind was a light with a broken switch. once upon the doorstep, with a doormat that read “welcome”, i rummaged for the key to open the old wooden door, probably oak. at long last, i found the sharp, jagged, golden key in a fake rock.
“pathetic” i mumbled.
i entered the house, like a spanish conquistador, taking what was mine. there were five main rooms in the house, the living room, the kitchen, mr and mrs cohen’s room, evan’s room, and my darling’s room. i had eight of the tiny bluetooth cameras, the ones that would stream directly to my phone. i put one in the living room, two in the kitchen, one two in the parents room, one in evan’s room, and two in the room of nicole. i felt that this had been a success.
when i completed my task to set up the cameras, i found myself in nicole’s room. she had a coral pink room with white trim and a white ceiling. there happened to be a dresser, one full of clothes. drawer one: her socks, such petite feet she had, so angelic, much like one of a dancer. drawer two: her unmentionables, need i say anything else? drawer three: her shirts, both long and short sleeved, varying from a void of black, to the brightest of yellow shirts, her sense of style was far from basic. drawer four: her pants, leggings, jeans, joggers, all that rest perfectly on her body. and drawer five: her pajamas, each sweatpant and every shirt lined with the same comforting fleece. and the best part, they all smelled like her. all of her clothes were her.
i checked the time, a quarter past ten. it was time i got going, but before i did, i snatched a sweatshirt of a light mint color, one that reminisced of her scent. when i got home, i double checked the audio and video of the cameras, and said to myself “it’s all over now. all that's left to do is wait.”
days pass, i continue to see nicole in school, oblivious to the fact that i’m watching her. oblivious.
however, i feel as though watching isn’t enough. it’s not enough to feed the perpetuating hunger.
“i have to go. i have to be there for nicole.” i repeat over and over until the words are seared into my mind. it is not enough to just watch her sleep. i need to see her sleep. i need to see her live, with my own two eyes, not through a screen.
i devised a plan, one of simplicity. again, i tricked my mom into allowing me to stay home, the penny trick never seemed to fail me. once she left, it was time. i gathered my things, and headed to the stranded cohen’s house. through thorough observation of the cohens, i know there is an attic that is unusable to them as it is too small, for me, i hope, it was the right size. i got to the front door of the house, picking up the fake rock, taking the key and running it over my hand, feeling its rushing freeze on each and every finger. once inside, i feel at home. i feel welcomed. i checked my watch, 1:47pm, nicole should be arriving shortly.
after i climbed the seven step ladder to the cubby of an attic, i lied down my belongings, a blanket, my phone, a pillow, a phone charger, a flashlight, headphones, water bottles, some nonperishable food and a knife. i no longer plan on attending school, i have much more important things to do.
i checked the time once again, l 2:58. any minute now. the attic was located in the hallway connecting evan’s and nicole’s room. i heard the front door. it had to be her. each gentle footstep is music to my ears, so graceful, perfect.
more than anything i want to come out of my cover, and run into nicole’s warm embrace, however, i know evan will be home soon. however, the reward could be worth the risk. though most at lehighton high school would not mess with evan, the overprotective state ranking wrestler, but for nicole, i’d throw myself in front of a semi truck flying down the freeway to see nicole.
hours pass, and now is now well into the late hours of the night, a few minutes pass three. i lead the ladder down till its ends barely grazed the carpeted hallway, allowing me to stealthily climb down the rings. to the left is evan’s room, you could hear him snoring through the wall, and to the right was nicole’s room. each step made my heart race more and more, enough that i was worried someone might hear me, but that didn’t stop me. the door was already open which made it even easier for me to go in. i saw her, sleeping in a fetal position, dreaming her sweet dreams. i got closer to her face, feeling her sweet, warm, breath on my face. i reached my hand out and caressed her flawless porcelain skin, soft and clear like a china doll, but it woke her. nicole is awake. i panicked.
“hey princess” i say regretting it immediately, “i’m here.” this was perfect. she was perfect.
half asleep, she muttered, “wait who are you? i’m not your princess!”
“yes you are.” i asserted, feeling the anger swell in my body. i’ve waited so long for this? i went and locked the door. no escape, she has to love me.
“no i’m not! i don’t even know you! get away from me weirdo!” she got up from her lounging position, coming at me with her arms. i felt rage. i felt cheated, disgusted! she is nothing that i thought she was. i still had to have her. no one should have her, not if i can’t.
“you are mine.” i hissed. i had to act quick, there were footsteps coming from the downstairs, the parents. she was five foot four, and i towered her at six feet even. i grabbed her neck. she was gasping, coughing. making as many noises as she could to alert someone.
it was too late for her. no one was coming.
the wrestling and gargling ceased.
¨what have i done.¨ i stood there. perplexed. ¨what have i done.¨
everything i loved. everything i´ve ever wanted. gone. the banging on the door no longer phased me. her parents didn't know that the body of their child was in here, motionless. i had nothing.
the most rational idea i could think of came to mind. i loved nicole more than life itself, more than anything. i neared the window. trembling, i opened the latch and popped the screen, because of my height, i had to sit on the ledge. i stared down into the night, down the two story drop, and released myself.
tears were streaming down my face. the air forcefully consumed my face´s feeling. i was numb.
it was over.
i was over.