IS Summer Reading Assignment: The Bell Jar
“New York was bad enough. By nine in the morning the fake, country-wet freshness that somehow seeped in overnight evaporated like the tail end of a sweet dream. Mirage-gray at the bottom of their granite canyons, the hot streets wavered in the sun, the car tops sizzled and glittered, and the dry, cindery dust blew into my eyes and down my throat.”
Chp.1 Pg.2
I found this quote highly important, because not only does it tell the setting of the story, it describes it in a way providing not only visual imagery but olfactory imagery, letting the reader have a closer connection to the habitat and its conditions. I also found this quote important because of how descriptive it is, hinting that the author must find great value in description, due to it being introduced right away!
“I never feel so much myself as when I'm in a hot bath.
I lay in that tub on the seventeenth floor of this hotel for-women-only, high up over the jazz and push of New York, for near onto an hour, and I felt myself growing pure again. I don't believe in baptism or the waters of Jordan or anything like that, but I guess I feel about a hot bath the way those religious people feel about holy water.
I said to myself: "Doreen is dissolving, Lenny Shepherd is dissolving, Frankie is dissolving, New York is dissolving, they are all dissolving away and none of them matter any more. I don't know them, I have never known them and I am very pure. All that liquor and those sticky kisses I saw and the dirt that settled on my skin on the way back is turning into something pure."
The longer I lay there in the clear hot water the purer I felt, and when I stepped out at last and wrapped myself in one of the big, soft white hotel bath towels I felt pure and sweet as a new baby.” chp.2
I chose this quote because I believe the bathtub could possibly be a routine in this story where her best thinking may take place, where we get to know the character on a deeper level. This is also after being intoxicated and leaving her friend Doreen, with a recently acquainted man, a bit weird especially after the escalation of what was happening before she decided to leave. I also find it interesting that the bathtub, once exiting she feels “pure” and all her not so behaved actions disappear from her almost as if she’s rejuvenating herself. It was great to me that the author compared her pureness as to a baby, as well as being wrapped in a big soft towel similar to a baby which occasionally would be wrapped in a blanket.
“The silence depressed me. It wasn't the silence of silence. It was my own silence.” chp.2
I found this quote extremely interesting because it so deep and real and makes you actually think. There was a time in my life where I wasn’t the happiest and it just makes you really think about how you could be the reason for your own depression no others. In this case others silence over yours. I believe the author was trying to explain to us how Esther is truly feeling, everyone was happy and involved in the world communicating being active except her. She felt completely left on her own, as if although she was alive no one seemed to notice her or pay attention to her therefore she lives in her own silence.
“All I'd heard about, really, was how fine and clean Buddy was and how he was the kind of person a girl should stay fine and clean for”chp.6
I choice this quote because I feel like it really emphasized the “gender roles” in the book, I also am a traditional person when it comes to life, so I actually liked the whole idea of giving yourself to someone who has the same “standards” as you, but then again people do things when they're young because of a phase or etc. This quote also showed how much Esther looked up to Buddy for his clean man who wanted to be with a clean women, she appreciated that. But it was really sad when she found out during the summer Buddy was sleeping around with waitresses, making her totally drop and not believe the clean guy personality she once appreciated.
“When I was nineteen, pureness was the great issue. Instead of the world being divided up into Catholics and Protestants or Republicans and Democrats or white men and black men or even men and women, I saw the world divided into people who had slept with somebody and people who hadn’t, and this seemed the only really significant difference between one person and another. I thought a spectacular change would come over me the day I crossed the boundary line.” chp.7
This quote showed how “bold” Esther is during this time in the book. Although is was extremely frowned upon for a girl to loose her virginity before marriage especially to a man she hadn't planned on marrying, she did not care. Although she soon realizes she doesn't have the best of luck with her plans and is quite confused on her sexual identity. The men in her life Buddy, Eric, Marco all give her huge problems and don't make it easy!
For example; Buddy is a traditional guy. Eric believes sex is nasty and says he will not participate in sexual interactions even with a women he may love and Marco tells Esther she's a slut (while trying to rape her). I found this quote important and felt it was relevant to teens now because many seek sex to fit in and having bragging rights yet Esther was a perfect example she had sex like she wanted but it did not solve the problems she thought it would.
“I started adding up all the things I couldn't do […] I felt dreadfully inadequate […] The one thing I was good at was winning scholarships and prizes, and that era was coming to an end.” chp.7
This quote spoke to me due to the fact that I could actually relate closely to Esther being that I also have just started the beginning of my senior year, Esther said this quote the summer before she started her senior year. All summer I was quite afraid of what I had to come this last year, I knew everything would come so fast and my life would turn into a never ending rollercoaster! With all the homework, college applications, cheer, community service and so on. Just like Esther thinking about how close I am to the real world is quite scary, I feel like i'm ready for college classes but not so sure on being alone and being independent. Esther was so focused on making and spending money she had a huge reality check once entering the real word for the first time.
"I am I am I am." chp.13
I chose this quote because i found it very important and meaningful while Esther listens to her heartbeat she has a moment of contemplation, whether or not she should drown herself or not. The heartbeat is a huge symbol to life, the thing that makes you human almost is symbolizes life and you being alive, this part made me a bit emotional because i felt the sound of Esther's heart beat should have reminded her she's alive and well and although she may face many struggles her life is still precious. All in all i believe the sound of the heart beat symbolizes the desire to be alive.
“The silence drew off, baring the pebbles and shells and all the tatty wreckage of my life. Then, at the rim of vision, it gathered itself, and in one sweeping tide, rushed me to sleep”chp.13
Amazing use of imagery and symbolism in this quote! The auditory imagery of the mass silence helps you understand how lonely and empty Esther felt. The amazing symbolism of the pebbles and shells the stress of life just piling up and up cause weight and pain. This quote almost reminds me of childbirth how Esther crawls back into a dark tunnel the heavy weight the contractions, not sure just an idea. I also thought it was interesting how all at once her problems gathered her and rushed her to sleep.
"What does a woman see in a woman that she can't see in a man?"
Doctor Nolan paused. Then she said, "Tenderness." That shut me up. chp.18
Oh Doctor Nolan, tisk tisk. Throughout the book Esther gives or a bit of a homophobic vibe especially when “deciding” her sexual identity, yet she finds her extremely interested in woman. Yet DeeDee and Joan relationship tends to disgust her. I also found it interesting how the doctor Nolan uses the word tenderness because Esther used that exact word when describing Doreen, hinting that Esther truly does appreciate the friendships she has with certain females.
“But I wasn't getting married. There ought, I thought, to be a ritual for being born twice – patched, retreaded, and approved for the road, I was trying to think of an appropriate one when Doctor Nolan appeared from nowhere and touched me on the shoulder” chp.20
Esther is constantly refusing marriage as a defining point for a young women, which i agree with if you don't feel the need to get married or believe married life isn't for you you shouldn't be subjected to it and your decision shouldn't be frowned upon. Esther in chapter 20 is greatly focused on her being reborn thus her past suicide attempt due to her depression.